The term "bullying" is increasingly used today as a universal explanation for any difficulties in adolescent relationships. Olga Ushakova, a school psychologist at the New Tone English Gymnasium in Tashkent, analyzes the dangers of this trend and what parents concerned about their child's psychological comfort in class should actually pay attention to.
Ushakova notes that the word "bullying" is now everywhere: in parent chats, at school meetings, on social media. Any remotely serious conflict among teenagers is immediately interpreted as harassment. While countless real stories of teens facing systematic psychological or even physical violence at school can be found online, the problem is that, once online, the phenomenon has gone viral.
Turning the concept of "bullying" into a viral hashtag carries at least two tangible risks. The first, most obvious, is well illustrated by the famous fable of the boy who cried wolf—if every sideways glance is labeled "bullying," sensitivity to the actual issue is dulled. A real cry for help could be drowned out in the noise of endless false alarms.
The second negative effect: if any disagreement is interpreted as "bullying," we only add unnecessary anxiety and tension. We further dramatize the situation, generating new conflicts around it. This simply hinders everyone's ability to live, study, and work.
In the experience of New Tone Gymnasium, there was a telling case: a middle school student began coming home in tears, saying "no one wants to talk to her" and that girls in the class were against her. Specialists from the school psychological support service conducted covert observation and a series of individual conversations. Gradually, the feeling of "everyone is against me" faded, and the girl's emotional state stabilized. The most important outcome—the problem was resolved professionally, without reinforcing a victim role and without unnecessary trauma to other adolescents from loud, hasty accusations of bullying.
British pediatrician and child psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott famously said, "Where adults understand, a child does not need to defend." Adolescence is inevitably linked to emotional tension and heightened reactions. For adults, it is crucial to avoid two extremes: on one hand, not to dramatize every childish quarrel, even if both opponents are taller than the teacher; on the other, not to dismiss real signs of harassment, potentially leading to tragic consequences, as unfortunately reported in the news.
The school's main task during this time is not to create an illusion of "peace and quiet," but to build and constantly improve a mechanism for timely identification and effective overcoming of students' psychological difficulties, without letting real problems escalate. Parents, when anxious about their child's psychological well-being, should remember the importance of cooperating with the school. The choice is clear in favor of educational institutions that approach the psychological climate within children's groups professionally, with awareness of all risks and an understanding of how to work with them—through systematic observation, accurate diagnosis, and open partnership with the family.
Source: podrobno.uz